My computer is running slower than shit coming out of my ass when I'm heavily constipated, therefore I need something to cheer me up.  Nothing puts a smile on my face more then seeing a girlfight.  Why?  Well because they fight like guys with their eyes closed, that's why. In this ...

t b I'm tired, hungry, and therefore very cranky.  So it's no surprise that I have my guns drawn to shoot at my favorite target, Heidi Montag. This bitch doesn't know when to quit.  I have to give her some credit.  Her determination to murder my ears is incredible. This dumb ...

I wasted three minutes of my life watching this douche cock bathe in a sink at Burger King. This is what my entertainment has been reduced to. As shocking as this may seem, the video made it's rounds on Myspace, bla bla, the health commissioner found it and ...

Sorry for the lack of posts everyone.  Seems like I haven't had much time for anything lately.  As some of you may very well know, I work at a hunting store part-time, where I get the most interesting customers that call and ask for things like this: *ring goes the phone* Co-Worker: ...

Co-Worker:  So have you ever dated a guy that has his weiner chopped off, and than stitched back on? Me: *blank stare* Uhm no...? Co-Worker: I think it would be cool if they stitched it backwards. That way when I have wood I can pee at the same ...

Girlfriend:  Here's your damn burrito (takes a bite, than gives it to him) Co-Worker: What the fuck?  Spit that out, right now!  That was MY burrito.

So in thirty minutes it'll be my 31st Birthday.  This is probably the first birthday I've had that didn't seem important to me.  Birthdays get boring as you age.  :worry:

The Head Gossip Douchebag In Charge, Perez Hilton, finally reports something worth talking about:  Shannen Doherty is in talks of reprising her role as Brenda Walsh!  Fuck yes!   I stopped watching the show when she left.  She WAS that show.   My biggest problem was when they made Kelly and Dylan ...

ME: So uh, Pirates or Ninja's? Co-Worker: A Pirate/Ninja! ME: What the fuck..?  No, you have to pick one. Co-Worker: Well if the Pirate mates with the Ninja, than you'll have ONE Pirate/Ninja. ME: That's cheating.

I was inspired to write this after reading Dani's blog. Her segment on "Mom's I Can't Stand "is hilarious, but there is one in particular that takes the cake in my eyes: the dreaded "Baby's Momma" mom. You know what I'm talking about, especially the men. That sweet, virginal ...